Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Randomize
