Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
