When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
