We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize