I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
