thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
