i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
