I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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