Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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