dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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