no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize