Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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