He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
