Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
