How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
