My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
