Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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