why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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