I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
