Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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