If that was your dad, he is hot
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize