hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i would one night stand the shit outta him
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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