apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
