It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Vodka?
Forever.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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