Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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