I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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