The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
