Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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