She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
