he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
