so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
