walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
