How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
