Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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