guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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