imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
