i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
