I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
