just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
