I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
