What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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