I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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