hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
