Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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