You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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