maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i dont even know how to be here
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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