# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
