How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
There r osticjed everywhere
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize