Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
