bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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