Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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