I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
