My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize