HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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