Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
