I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Panties = found
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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