I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
