don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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